Home is Not Purgatory but Where the Heart Is
by Kirabaros
Summary: Angela came back from Purgatory to a bunch of surprises but is more bothered about memories of that place. A little moment between her and Sam about her time in Purgatory and slowly getting used to being back and together again.


**Home is not Purgatory but Where the Heart Is**

The forest was thick with brush and the sounds were the norm in letting you know that there was nothing hunting you. Noise was good. Silence wasn't.

There was heavy breathing and the sound of footsteps pounding in the earth. The thick ones came from the leap over the debris. The enemy was on the trail. They always were.

The gnarling sounds were like that of ravenous dogs barking. The slobbering and the hissing were indicators of them. The panting was still occurring. The goal was to get to the gate.

They were waiting there. All of them and they were taunting and snarling. There was no choice… not in this place. Once the challenge was presented, you fought or you died and that was plain and simple. So out came the blade and the fight was on.

The gate was opening. There was one chance and one chance only. She leapt through but there was a burning sensation on her left shoulder and a pain in her side. The next scene was crimson…

_Angie?_

That rapist tasted good. The hot warm, liquid feeling pouring down her throat; it was life and sustenance where she had been. The sad thing was she didn't have a problem with taking his life. He was a serial killer/rapist and his blood helped her to heal from her injuries.

_Angie._

Angela slowly opened her eyes but she hadn't removed her fist from her chin. Her fist just clenched tighter for a moment and then loosened. She wasn't in that place anymore but she could still hear things. She could smell things. It was pure, raw and primal. Once she was in control, she turned slightly towards the person who was speaking to her and let out in a low voice, "Sam."

Looking at Sam, the memories of that last fight flooded in. They found Dick Roman and they got him. They had the weapon and they used it against the black blooded bastard. They sent his ass back to purgatory. She did what she was supposed to do… She looked away and stared at nothing but there was always something out there. They loved to watch and torment you with it. They waited until you had your guard down.

"I'm sorry."

Angela looked at Sam. What was he sorry for? He did what she asked and he was happy and that was okay. She looked at him confused, "Sorry for what?"

Sam swallowed his throat convulsively. He had a lot to say but he just didn't know how. He never gave up on her but he became resigned to the fact that she may be stuck in purgatory for eternity. Dean ragged the hell out of him for moving on but she didn't. She seemed satisfied that he did what he wanted and she didn't even bat an eye when he mentioned Amelia. He was used to her ways and it occurred to him that she might be a bit jealous and maybe angry too. "For doing what you asked."

Angela studied her Sam. A lot happened on both sides of the fence that whole year. "None are necessary. You were happy and that means a lot to me. I was gone. I left you and it was your right. I am only sorry that Dean got pulled in. It wasn't supposed to happen but it did."

That much Sam already knew. He had the note still that she had slipped in his jacket the day they ganked Roman stating that she had mistranslated that last bit on purpose and that she wanted him and Dean to live and if it was apple pie then good. If it was hunting, it was good. Most of all she told them both to not attempt to pop purgatory. Enough was enough. Then Kevin recited the whole part about Absolution taking Leviathan back to purgatory. No one else was mentioned.

She didn't leave him. Sam knew she didn't forget that she was a part of him and he was a part of her. It was impossible. Yeah he had something with Amelia but nothing changed regarding Angela. She was always first in his heart. He felt her through that connection and he was certain he would feel it if she had died. There were times that he felt tempted to pick up a book and follow to find her like she did for him. If anything he left her. "You didn't leave me. I left you. I did what you asked when I should have done what you did for me."

Sam was tempted to touch her but ever since she showed up at that church in Wisconsin, she was wary of a lot of things. It was nothing like when she came back from hell. Instead he just stood there next to her car. She didn't even ride with them here.

"Purgatory is not like hell, Sam," Angela replied as she studied him as he studied her. Finally she moved her fist to the hollow of her throat and used her free hand to brush aside some unruly locks and finally did the gesture that meant more than an exchange of good luck for warriors. Her fingers rested on his lips and she could feel his breath through them. "It is raw, primal and it brings out the worst of even the most gentle of natures. It would have killed you."

It had registered that she was touching him and Sam reached for her hand and stroked the top of the hand that healed every injury and yet didn't hesitate to kill on a hunt. It was the same except a little rougher. He moved her hand slightly but didn't let go. He replied, "I would have done the same for you if I didn't do what your note said."

"By doing what I asked, you were safe and that was a big factor to me." Angela watched Sam's hands as they held hers. It was residual from purgatory since you had to watch everything.

_The red eyes taunted in the darkness. They constantly watched as you walked through the forests. They one leapt out baring its fangs. The eyes were glowing…_

"But I should have tried…"

Sam was cut off when she finally opened her fist and there nestled in the palm was that bronze star he gave her. The years polished it into an interesting shine. She still had it. She looked at him and said, "You did do something. You saved me by leading me back."

Sam didn't think so since she was the one that spent a year in purgatory. "I don't think…"

"Sam, you once said that I was guiding light. Did it ever occur to you that you were the same for me?" Angela paused to study him some more. He hadn't released her hand and it felt good. "Days weren't so bad but the nights are nothing like the things that go bump here. Just holding it and thinking of you it gave me the strength to face the next round until I found the gate. And I felt it in here." Closing her hand back into a fist, she tapped the area where her heart was in reference to the whole soul thing. "I am glad you didn't think to not listen to me."

Normally Sam would have joked with her about her kicking his ass but he found that it wasn't necessary and it felt inappropriate. He was having a hard time believing that she was okay with him for having a life. Most women would be having a jealous fit right about now but she wasn't. He looked at her as she clenched her necklace in her fist and held it over her heart while looking down at his hands holding hers. "Still I have been punishing myself over this."

"Absolution, Sam," Angela replied as she let go of her necklace and reached out to touch the hands covering hers. She ran her fingers over his hand and traced the faint scars and found the one on his knuckle and rubbed it. "Relieving of the burden. It's a work in progress. Kevin feels sorry that it was me that had to do it but I don't blame him and I don't blame you."

Sam watched her thumb his scar like she was trying to reassure herself. "It is more than I deserve especially from you."

Angela continued to thumb the scar. She could recall when they sought to trick her. They set a trap for her and played upon all that was dear and familiar.

_Sam was waiting in the clearing as she approached. She clutched the satchel firmly even though it was around her shoulder. She frowned in surprise. Something was wrong. She questioned him and he gave the story that he found a way in and had been looking for her. She almost believed until she noticed the hand. There was no scar._

_ It pained her to slit the throat and sever the head. In the end it was one of them. They used a spell and tried to trick her. They had tried the hallucinations with others like Mary and Jess. They followed her when she got out and she realized that it was catching up. All of it; like before and it was ten times worse…_

Angela heard Sam. He had no idea and even if she were to tell him or let him see it through mind thing… She understood now when soldiers returning from war felt the way they did because of what they had to do to survive. She was back now and she followed the light home. Home was always where Sam was but it was different.

Dean would understand if he got his head out of his ass. He didn't want to talk to her since he saw her mistranslation as a betrayal. He went so far as to insult her abilities since he was there too. He survived and got out and she knew what he did. She wouldn't say anything yet but she knew what it took for him to get out of that place. They may have been on different sides of purgatory but there were ways of knowing and those were tricks she learned from that place.

Finally deciding what to say, Angela replied, "You know my stance on life and death, Sam. And I know the choices that are hard so I have little to no right to criticize but I do think you deserve this from me. If anything, it is me who needs to work for it because I feel I do given what I have done even if it was in the name of survival both in and out."

Sam understood. Before all this, she did manage to tell him about some of the more bloodier years of her life. Hell he was still trying to cope with the things he did that year and a half while his soul was in hell. She had a lot more than he and Dean combined. They could cut her some slack. "I understand."

Angela gave a slight smile as she finished rubbing the scar on Sam's hand. She looked up but caught something behind him. She made a point to ignore it even though it was taunting her. It wasn't real anyway but hey that was the price. Now that things seemed okay somewhat, maybe… "So…"

"I'm glad you're back and here," Sam interrupted. Slowly and feeling like he was handling a live explosive, he reached out and touched her face and gave the gesture he always gave when it was better to be silent than speak. When he finished, he let his thumb gently touch and stroke her cheek. "You're here. Please stay."

Angela relished the touch. A year of missing that was worse than the things chasing her. She closed her eyes to take it in. She had come out here to brood and relieve the tension between her and Dean since he was just as jumpy as she was and she debated on picking up and leaving. As always Sam found her and she knew that while it was the right thing to do, she couldn't leave him and hell she didn't want to leave him.

Leaning into his touch she felt pulled forward gently and his forehead rested on hers. She knew that she would stay and she would do her best to tough things out. Kevin needed her too since he seemed more receptive to her considering everything that happened and her threat to Crowley when they split. Mostly she would stay because she wanted to and she indicated that when she gave the affectionate nuzzle vampires did. She fought to get home. She made it out of purgatory and made it back to Sam. She was home.

* * *

**A/N:** Just something that was cooked up in honor of the season premier of Supernatural. Angie returns from Purgatory and is dealing. Enjoy.


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